Handling possessive kids

Toddler siblings: “Mummy this doll is mine; I will not give it to sister”

Toddler Friends: “This is my car. You cannot play with it.”

Adolescent siblings: “How can you wear my dress?”

Be it at the age of 3 or at the age of 14, parents keep facing the problem of possessiveness in some way or other.

From doctors’ or psychologists’ perspective, it is natural, and it is not a problem. Kids will learn to cope up with it as they grow. But it can really be annoying at times and embarrassing sometimes.

I remember on my daughter’s 3rd birthday; her friend came with a nicely wrapped present. But when the cake was cut, and it was time to give the present she was not ready to give it while my daughter was hell-bent over it. In the end, both cried. It became very embarrassing for both the parents.

Though it cannot be called out as a problem, it should not be ignored as well.

It is very important to understand what we should not do in such a situation:

  1. We should never encourage or agree with our child. If we do, he or she will grow up thinking that it is the right behavior.
  2. We should not be aggressive or angry with our children. As our child will be in a resentful state at that time, he or she will take our anger negatively and revolt.
  3. We should not support or oppose any one of the kids. This will make us look partial towards one of the kids.

We should handle this situation with patience and care.

  1. If the toddler or small kids are fighting over a toy or any similar thing, tell the kids both will get a chance to play with it one after another and define the time, like 5 minutes. Or create a game with it so that they can play with it together. If it is a car let both be on opposite ends and pass it to one another. If it is a doll, make the girls play different roles and play with the doll.
  2. Siblings’ fight over different things is never-ending. I face it every day. Here you must keep stressing to them that they are siblings and they have to share things.
  3. Adolescents are more sensitive. So, try to avoid being angry with them. But if you want to make them understand something you must be positive and firm.

We are and will keep facing such situations often. I have shared my experience and learning. Please give comments and share your experience as well.

Happy parenting!!!


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